


You Are My Armour

by AtowncalledMalec



Series: Malec Smut-Fic Challenge 2 [4]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, malec - Fandom
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, And Alec gives it to him, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Magnus Bane, Canon Compliant, Communication, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hand Jobs, Insecure Magnus Bane, Kissing, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Mental Health Issues, Protective Alec Lightwood, The entire fucking world, Top Alec Lightwood, fixing problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-29 05:47:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17802155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtowncalledMalec/pseuds/AtowncalledMalec
Summary: Magnus hadn't meant to pull back from Alec when he lost his magic. It wasn't an intentional thing, something that he was barely conscious of at first. But it had happened and he couldn't see a way back, until something as simple as talking, and one small act of kindness breaches the gulf that has opened up. Maybe it can start to heal what was broken?





	You Are My Armour

**Author's Note:**

> This one is for Emma. She asked for something light and fun. Unfortunately, I was listening to Psalm 42 by Tori Kelly when I started writing this and this was the result. Sorry, my dear, I'll do better next time! And, believe it or not, I actually wrote this before we got the Malec sneak peek of Magnus doing his makeup.
> 
> It deals with Magnus' mental health issues after the loss of his magic so there's quite a bit of angst at the beginning. If you feel like you can't read that, then fair enough. Alec's actions can't fix everything in one go but it starts the healing process off. This deals with the importance of letting others in and sharing the burden. There's always help out there when things seem dark, something that Magnus only now realises.
> 
> I was worried about sharing this one but, Imandra Pipkin said something that resonated with me, Making love is about fucking the soul, and not just the body. I may have cried reading that and writing this chapter but I'm also proud of it. Please enjoy, if you can.

 

The early morning sunlight, pouring through the diaphanous gold curtains in their bedroom woke Alec. Blinking his eyes open and lifting a hand to his eyes to block the light out, a soft sigh escaped him. It wasn’t the first time that week that Magnus had forgotten to close the curtains, his boyfriend coming to bed after he was already asleep, every night.

 

Alec rolled over, his eyes landing on Magnus’ makeup-free face. Noting the frown on his boyfriend’s face, he reached out and pushed the hair out of Magnus’ closed eyes, his touch gentle, so as not to wake him. 

 

That frown seemed to have become a permanent feature on Magnus’ face, whenever he slept. It was the only time he was unable to pull a smile on for the world. There was something so vulnerable about the expression, Alec wanted to reach out and pull Magnus to him, to protect him. 

 

Wishing that Magnus would talk about it, Alec watched him sleep, running through ways of getting him to open up, in his head. It seemed his touch wasn’t as gentle as he had first thought.

 

“Are you watching me sleep, again?” Magnus asked, an instant, static smile appearing on his face when he blinked his eyes open to see that the Shadowhunter was indeed watching him. The worried expression had his smile sliding off of his face. “Are you okay?” he asked, concern tugging his eyebrows down.

 

“Are you?” Alec asked, his own voice just as sleep-gruff as Magnus’ was. Searching his brown eyes, he reached out when Magnus shook the question off, cupping his hand to Magnus’ neck. “Talk to me,” he said, urging Magnus with his eyes to open up.

 

“I’m fine, what time is it?” Magnus asked, shaking Alec’s hand off to look over his boyfriend's shoulder, at the clock.

 

“Time you stopped telling me that you’re fine when I know you’re not,” Alec said, his hand sweeping out once more when Magnus blinked at him. “You aren’t yourself anymore, not since…” he didn’t want to say it, scared that Magnus would react badly to the words.

 

“Since I lost my magic?” Magnus asked quietly, wrapping his hand around Alec’s wrist to hold it in place when Alec made to remove it. “You can say it, Alexander. I might as well get used to it,” he said softly, not used to it at all.

 

“You miss it?” Alec asked, knowing it was a stupid question, of course, Magnus missed his magic. It was obvious in the hundred small tasks that Magnus completed the mundane way now. And the hundred small tasks that he had given up on, so used to using his magic to complete them.

 

“It is… was... who I am,” Magnus said, shrugging, trying to shrug it off. It wasn’t working. Alec had the uncanny ability to see right through his every casual gesture.

 

“It was a part of you. A big part of you, but it isn’t who you are,” Alec said, his thumb skimming up Magnus’ cheekbone. The drop of Magnus’ eyebrows, mashing down into one confused, questioning line had him leaning in, pressing his lips to each small triangle, his stomach churning when Magnus tensed before relaxing into it.

 

“Your magic didn’t define you, Magnus. The kind of person you are is what defines you,” Alec said when he pulled back, shuffling a little closer, a few inches away from Magnus’ face. “The magic was a tool, it wasn’t who you are,” he said, his eyes flicking between each of Magnus’ eyes, missing the gold more than he was willing to say out loud.

 

“It was part of me for my entire life. Since before I could remember. Having something for that long, it is how you start to define yourself, how others define you. Like your black hair or your pretty hazel eyes,” Magnus said, his eyes raking over Alec’s features.

 

“Your magic didn’t make you kind. It didn’t make you selfless and compassionate,” Alec said, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips when Magnus blinked at him. “Your magic didn’t make you give all of yourself to help others. It didn’t make you care so much for those who had nobody to show them the way.”

 

“Those things don’t define me…” Magnus said, averting his eyes, refusing to acknowledge the sting at the corners of them.

 

“No? The hundreds… thousands of downworlders that you have helped over the last four centuries aren’t out there, combing their libraries for a way to get it back for you, because those traits don’t define you?” Alec asked, tugging at Magnus’ chin until their eyes met once more.

 

“Your magic, it didn’t make you care for them. It wasn’t the magic that got them through their darkest days, days when they didn’t know who or what they were; until you came along,” Alec said, watching every emotion Magnus felt, play over his beautiful face. “It was you who did that. You got them through it, you helped them find their place in the world.”

 

“It was my armour, Alexander. My strength. It was my way of showing the world that it couldn’t hurt me,” Magnus whispered, a vulnerability prickling at his face that he was usually able to hide, from everyone but Alec. The Shadowhunter was the only one who bothered looking close enough to see it. “that armour is gone now, and I have never felt more vulnerable in my life,” he said, searching Alec’s eyes for judgement that wasn’t there.

 

“It was the armour you used to protect your body. It kept you safe from harm physically,” Alec said, pulling Magnus closer, flush to his body, his thumb catching the rogue tear that Magnus didn’t seem able to keep a hold of. “You used other armour for your mind though, didn’t you?” he asked, watching Magnus’ eyes flick in the direction of the dresser.

 

“You haven’t put that armour on for a while now, have you?” Alec asked, knowing exactly what that armour meant to Magnus, why he wore it. Sarcasm had always been his armour of choice for most of his life. A front that he had put on for others had been his armour, snarky comments, aimed like one of his arrows to deflect scrutiny. He knew why Magnus pulled that armour on better than most.

 

Magnus shook his head in answer. The armour had lain in its bags and drawers since he had returned from Edom. Dragging himself out of his bed every day and putting clothes on was a constant battle. He didn’t have the strength to put that armour on too, not when he was already treading water and barely managing to keep his head above the surface.

 

Alec pressed his lips to Magnus’ forehead before climbing from the bed. With a smile for his boyfriend, he turned and made his way over to the dresser, collecting Magnus’ armour up, piece by piece before carrying it all back to the bed, nodding when Magnus sat up and clutched his knees to his chest.

 

Magnus watched as Alec pushed the quilt back and lay it all out on the bed before sitting in front of him. Looking over all of the familiar pieces, his heart beat a little bit faster. The hole in his stomach filled up, just the smallest bit.

 

“My Grandmother used to say that a woman only needed two things in life,” Alec said, pulling Magnus closer and unwinding Magnus’ arms from around his knees until his legs bracketed Magnus’ thighs, Magnus’ legs draped over his own thighs, almost chest to chest. “You’re a man but it still applies,” he said when Magnus raised an eyebrow at him.

 

“Enlighten me,” Magnus said, unable to help the smile that tugged at the corners of his lips as he watched Alec dig through his armour. 

 

“The first thing was a weapon. She preferred a Seraph blade but her tongue was just as sharp,” Alec mused as he selected the right shade and pumped a few squirts out onto his hands when he couldn't find any of Magnus’ little sponges. Rubbing them together, he swept his hands over Magnus’ face, smiling when Magnus’ eyes closed.

 

“A weapon is easily taken care of, I have the perfect one in mind. It requires grace, strength and precise focus, all things that you have in droves,” Alec said, thinking of getting Magnus to start training with a bow staff as he started blending the foundation into Magnus’ neck, the same way he had watched Magnus do it, countless times. 

 

“The second thing Grandma said a woman needed was Chanel,” Alec murmured, wiping his hands on his legs to start digging through the pots of powder.

 

“Chanel? I like the sound of Grandma Lightwood already,” Magnus chuckled, feeling lighter than he had in weeks. Letting Alec dig through his setting powders, he didn’t have the heart to tell the Shadowhunter that he had missed a couple of steps out so he stayed silent when Alec selected one, approving the choice.

 

“She used to call her makeup warpaint. She said a woman could fight any battle with the correct weapon and her warpaint,” Alec said, dipping Magnus’ favourite brush into the powder and banging it on the side of the pot, the same way Magnus did, not quite sure why. He swept the brush over Magnus’ face as he continued.

 

“The lipstick she used to wear was Chanel, the same lipstick that Izzy wears,” Alec said, leaning back to admire the effect before he swapped the powder for a darker one and dipped the brush into it, banging it once more before focussing on Magnus’ cheeks.

 

“That’s the shade that your Grandmother used to wear, Rouge Intimiste?” Magnus asked, unsure why he was surprised that the older lady would wear something so racy, she was a Lightwood, they never failed to surprise him. Picturing an older version of Izzy, as Alec contoured his cheeks, his eyes fell closed again from the soft strokes. They felt nice against his skin, Alec’s touch gentle, belying the size of his hands.

 

Alec shrugged, not knowing what the shade was called. It was just red to him, deep velvety red, a shade or two darker than blood. It suited his sister and had suited his grandmother, they were both fierce warriors and their choice of lipstick reflected that, fiery red.

 

Putting the lid back on the darker powder, Alec picked up the smaller brush Magnus used for his eyes and grabbed the big pallet, his eyes flicking over the fifty different choices of colour before settling on the dark purple, it always made the brown of Magnus’ eyes stand out whenever he wore it., the tiny golden flecks capturing and reflecting the light.

 

Magnus closed his eyes, taking a deep breath when Alec moved to apply his eyeshadow. The breath escaped in a surprised sigh when Alec was just as gentle as he had been with the contour. 

 

Alec swept the brush over Magnus’ eyelids, stopping to wipe it off of Magnus’ eyebrow when some escaped before carrying on. Blowing softly when he thought he had it in the right place, to remove the extra dust that had fallen onto Magnus’ cheeks, he bent forward the last inch and kissed each lid, not caring that he got some on his lips, their legs were already covered in the dark powder from when he had banged the brush.

 

The touch of Alec’s lips on his eyelids had them stinging once more. Alec had always told him how beautiful his Warlock mark was and he knew that Alec missed his real eyes, even if the Shadowhunter never said it out loud. They were the one part of himself that he had never thought he would miss if he ever lost them. But Alec’s love of them, and the fact that they weren't there anymore filled him with sadness for their loss.

 

Alec put the armour back into the bag and picked up the last piece, the dark pencil that Magnus used on his eyes. Taking the sharpener from the bag, he put the big bag on the nightstand and sharpened the pencil before sucking the tip into his mouth, just like Magnus did.

 

Magnus marvelled as he watched Alec wet the tip of his khol liner to soften it. Alec had watched him put his makeup on more times than he cared to count but he had never realised that Alec was actually paying attention to what he had used. Sure, Alec had missed a few steps and mixed up some of the others up but it made his gut ache for the Shadowhunter, that Alec had paid such attention to something so small.

 

“Shit, sorry,” Alec mumbled when Magnus jerked back as he stabbed his boyfriend in the eye with the pencil. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to Magnus’ eyelid again, feeling awful when he felt the moisture under his lips. The intention hadn’t been to poke Magnus’ eyes out.

 

“Like this,” Magnus said, blinking the tears away, tears that weren’t only from the poke in the eye. Wrapping his hand around Alec’s, he pulled his bottom lid down and pressed the tip of the pencil, in their joined hands, to his waterline and closed his eye. “It lines both lids and gives a nice smokey effect if you do it like this. A quick wipe over it smudges it perfectly,” he explained as they lined first his left eye, then his right.

 

Alec grinned when Magnus took the tip of his finger and pressed a kiss to it before rubbing it over the seam of his eyelids. Tracing the shape of Magnus’ closed eyelids, his smile widened when Magnus’ hand wrapped around his wrist, pressing a kiss to his palm when he lifted his finger. The dark smudge on the tip had him wiping it on his leg, adding it to the collection.

 

Magnus looked at his reflection when Alec held a mirror up for him to look himself over. Alec had been right, he did wear his makeup like armour. It gave people something else to look at other than his insecurities, almost like a shield. A way to show the world the face he wanted them to see. 

 

“You did well, thank you,” Magnus said softly, his stomach churning as his gaze swept over his armour. There were cracks in it, imperfections that would always be there, that had nothing to do with Alec’s skills. But Alec had done an amazing job. And the Shadowhunter filled those cracks with his presence anyway. His gaze dropped to his leg when he felt a small scratching there. “What are you doing?” he asked, watching Alec’s actions.

 

“I can’t give you your armour back, not yet anyway. But I can lend you some of mine; until we find a way,” Alec said, carefully drawing on Magnus’ shin with the soft eye pencil.

 

“What does that one do?” Magnus whispered, his throat aching from the lump that had formed in it as he watched Alec draw a rune on his leg.

 

“Endurance, this one will help you endure, until you’re whole again,” Alec said as he finished the rune, before lifting Magnus’ leg up to press his lips to the rune. Draping Magnus’ leg over his thigh again, he leaned forward to draw another one on Magnus’ shoulder. “This is Strength, to give you the strength to keep fighting,” he said quietly as he traced it onto Magnus’ skin.

 

Magnus’ eyes fluttered closed when Alec’s plump lips pressed against his shoulder in an open-mouthed kiss that had his heart beating faster, the touch too fleeting, something he had missed more than he could say; when Alec pulled back and pressed the pencil to his neck. 

 

“Fortitude,” Alec said as he pressed lightly on the side of Magnus’ neck, his thumb sweeping back and forth over Magnus’ jaw when he cupped it to tilt Magnus’ head. “To remind you of all of the hardships that you’ve survived over the centuries. You’re strong, Magnus, you’ll survive this too,” he said quietly.

 

Magnus leant into Alec’s hand, finding all of the strength he needed in it. The Shadowhunter didn’t seem to realise that he was his strength, even for how gentle Alec’s touch was. The lump in his throat cracked when Alec pressed a kiss to the rune as he sharpened the pencil before softening the tip of it again.

 

“Nyx,” Alec murmured as he traced a new rune on the back of Magnus’ hand where it was wrapped around his wrist, his hand cupping Magnus’ jaw once more. “So that you can see clearly during the dark days, the times when it feels like you’ll never see daylight again.”

 

“True north, so that you can always find your way. Protection, to keep you safe. Iratze, to heal what was broken. Knowledge, so that you’ll know how special you are. Guidance, to carry you through this new trial and bring you out on the other side. Fearless, to give you courage when you want to give up,” Alec explained as he drew each rune on a different part of Magnus’ body, pressing a kiss to each one. 

 

Magnus fought for breath, his heart bursting with every rune and each kiss that followed, wondering how Alec managed to get it so right. Each line and curve pushed his fears further back, pushing them down, and lifting him up, helping him float instead of just treading water.

 

Alec sharpened the pencil and wetted it again before he pressed the tip of it to Magnus’ chest, right above his heart. 

 

“Love, to remind you of how much I love you, how much those that you’ve cared for over the years love you,” Alec murmured, unable to drag his gaze away from Magnus, tracing the rune by heart, until he leaned down to press a kiss to Magnus’ warm chest, feeling the pounding of Magnus’ heart against his lips.

 

Magnus took Alec’s face in his hands, pressing his lips to Alec’s forehead, the tip of his nose, his lips, thanking the Shadowhunter with each kiss. Sliding his hands up into Alec’s hair, he pressed another kiss to Alec’s lips, lingering when Alec’s hands slid around his waist.

 

Alec opened up when Magnus licked at his lip, gladly accepting Magnus’ tongue, feeling closer to Magnus than he had done for weeks. The gulf that had opened up between them, Magnus’ touches moving away too quickly whenever he had tried to talk to him, their kisses too brief when Magnus always found something that needed his attention more, lessened with every stroke. 

 

Alec had given Magnus the space he needed each time, wanting Magnus to open up but knowing that it had to be on Magnus terms, it had to be when Magnus was ready. The pull at his shoulders had him opening his eyes, looking into Magnus’ eyes, thinking that maybe Magnus was ready to let him back in when he saw the need there.

 

Magnus shuffled until he was sitting on Alec’s thighs, chest to chest, needing to feel close to Alec again, needing it more than he needed air. It hadn’t been a conscious thing, pulling back from the Shadowhunter over the last weeks, he had needed to protect himself, to try and work through what his loss meant. But he could see that he had only hurt himself with his retreat. 

 

The love and compassion that Magnus saw in Alec’s eyes, something he had tried to hide from, had a deeper need blossoming, a need for that divide to be gone. Wrapping his legs around Alec’s waist, he wrapped his arms around Alec’s neck, tilting Alec’s head back by the strands of hair at the nape of Alec’s neck.

 

“Please?” Magnus murmured, staring down into Alec’s eyes, seeing the unsure expression there.

 

Alec lifted Magnus, crossing his legs before sitting Magnus more securely in his lap, searching Magnus’ face the whole time. Seeing the need once more, he wrapped one arm around Magnus’ waist and cupped his jaw with the other, pouting his lips forward to catch Magnus’ kiss.

 

Magnus sank into it, letting his lips tell Alec of his need without words, the need for Alec’s touches, gentle and hard, the need for Alec’s reassuring presence, solid when everything else seemed to swirl around him and slip from his grasp like the limited time he was now faced with.

 

Alec held Magnus to him, letting his body take over when Magnus’ hips started to rock. Releasing Magnus’ lips, he trailed kisses down Magnus’ cheek and jaw, soft kisses, Magnus’ light stubble scratching his lips. Magnus, tilting his head back, had him pressing harder kisses to Magnus’ neck, open-mouthed kisses that had both of them breathing harder.

 

Magnus let his eyes fall closed, his head falling back when Alec pressed a sucking kiss to the hollow of his throat, his arm tightening around Alec’s shoulder, his right hand sliding up into Alec’s hair to hold him closer. The need for air was becoming more and more vital with every sucking kiss that Alec pressed to his skin but he couldn’t pull air in, no matter how much he tried.

 

Plump lips, trailing down Magnus’ chest had him leaning back further, giving Alec more access. He leaned into Alec’s hands when they slid up his back and over his shoulders, his back arching to get closer when Alec sucked his nipple in.

 

Alec listened to Magnus’ breathing, his stomach churning from how much he had missed those soft pants, the huskiness that built in the back of Magnus’ throat whenever Magnus moaned, quiet enough to be a whisper but ringing out in the silence that filled the room, his own harder breaths the only other sound.

 

Swirling his tongue, Alec sucked Magnus’ nipple harder, needing to hear more, and was rewarded by a sharp intake of breath before a louder moan filled his ears. It had him grazing his teeth over the small nub, adding his own moan to the sound of Magnus’ when Magnus’ fingers tightened in his hair.

 

Magnus leaned all the way back, pulling Alec with him until his back hit the mattress. The look in Alec’s eyes had him tightening the hold his legs had around the Shadowhunter’s waist, pushing into the touch when Alec’s fingers skimmed down his ribs.

 

The touch was intoxicating to Magnus, his skin erupting in waves of goosebumps when Alec’s callused fingertips brushed over his hip, radiating through him just as surely as the pleasure of Alec taking his other nipple into his mouth.

 

Alec pushed his fingers under the waistband of Magnus’ boxer briefs when Magnus’ hand caught his, fingers interlocking, and pushed his hand there. The soft skin and hard muscle of Magnus’ ass had his hand tightening, his hips rolling into Magnus’ rocking motion, his length grinding against Magnus’ equally hard dick.

 

The hand Alec was supporting himself with tightened its grip in the red silk sheets, his lips releasing Magnus’ nipple when Magnus’ left leg slid down over his ass and tightened around the back of his thighs, pulling him down harder. The friction on his dick was exquisite.

 

The frantic nod of Magnus’ head had Alec pulling at the waistband of Magnus’ boxers where his hand had lingered. The need in Magnus’ eyes matched his own so he straightened up and pulled them off, his fingertips brushing through the hairs on Magnus’ legs when they released their hold on his waist.

 

Magnus’ hands replaced his legs, sliding down Alec’s waist and over his hips, to tug at the waistband of Alec’s boxers. Leaning up, he pushed his hands into the tight boxers and slid his hands over Alec’s ass to push them down, his body. Shuddering when Alec’s hard dick sprang free, brushing his own with its reassuring weight, he fell back into the mattress, his fingers brushing back up to Alec’s waist and tightening.

 

Alec didn’t say a word when he leaned over Magnus’ prone body and reached over his head to open Magnus’ nightstand drawer, retrieving the lube from where Magnus always summoned it, refusing to make a big deal about it. Magnus didn’t need that and neither did he. 

 

Sitting back on his heels, Alec poured some lube out onto his hand when Magnus’ legs fell open. Taking Magnus’ hand, he poured some out onto his too and guided it to Magnus’ dick, curling their fingers around it. He let go when Magnus’ hand started to move, giving his own dick a few tugs before he tossed the bottle aside.

 

Magnus opened up when Alec leaned over him and claimed his lips, his free hand curling into Alec’s hair to hold him in place as Alec’s tongue swirled into his mouth. Alec’s finger at his entrance had his legs falling open a little wider, his hand, stroking his dick, tightening. 

 

Magnus pushed against Alec’s finger, his breathing heavy when Alec, rubbed firmer circles into the sensitive skin around his asshole. A low moan escaped into Alec’s mouth, his breath huffing out through his nose in short, panting bursts when Alec pushed into him. The stretch and the gentle finger, Alec’s heavy breathing, had his stomach clenching. He had missed this more than he’d realised.

 

Alec matched the shallow thrusts of his finger to swirl of his tongue, listening through his own heavy breaths to Magnus’ breathing, using the soft moans as a guide. Twisting his finger with every thrust, his hips jerked when Magnus let go of his hair and took his dick in hand instead.

 

Alec broke the kiss and nosed Magnus’ head up, pressing his lips to the sensitive spot behind Magnus’ ear as he added a second finger, feeling Magnus loosen with every twisting thrust. The firm grip on his dick, twisting in time with his own fingers had him pushing into Magnus’ hand, his eyes screwed up and lips stuttering against Magnus’ skin.

 

“Alexander,” Magnus murmured, his voice scratchy with need as he pushed onto Alec’s fingers. He needed more. Wrapping his legs around Alec’s waist, he raised his hips and guided Alec’s dick to his entrance, nodding when Alec pulled out of his ass and wrapped long fingers around his hand, helping guide him.

 

Magnus forgot about his own dick for a minute when Alec slowly slid into him, feeling every inch open him up further. Letting go of his dick, he wrapped his fingers around the back of Alec’s neck and tugged, pressing his lips to the lines that radiated from the corners of Alec’s screwed up eyes. The look of pure pleasure on Alec’s face was breathtaking, almost as breathtaking as being filled by him.

 

Alec took a minute to get his breath when his hips met Magnus’, grounding himself with Magnus’ body. The tight grip on his hair and soft lips on his face held him down and calmed the need to let his body take over. Raising his head, he looked into Magnus’ eyes before moving, knowing that Magnus was ready for him.

 

Magnus took his dick in hand once more when Alec started to thrust into him. Inhaling the scent of his boyfriend, he gripped himself tightly, using the pleasure to distract himself from the slight burn on his rim. Wrapping his leg around Alec’s back, he used it for leverage to hold himself up, wanting to meet Alec’s thrusts.

 

Alec stopped his thrusts for a moment and reached out to grab a pillow, shuffling them to push it under Magnus’ ass when he felt the shake of Magnus’ leg at his back. He pushed back in when Magnus relaxed, the grip on his back still as tight but not so shaky anymore.

 

Resting comfortably on the pillow, Magnus dug his foot into Alec’s ass, pulling the Shadowhunter in deeper when he didn’t have to hold himself up anymore. It was perfect, the perfect height for the perfect friction. Leaning up, he pressed a kiss into Alec’s shoulder, trailing his lips up the side of Alec’s neck, open-mouthed kisses that had Alec’s breathing coming faster.

 

Alec lost himself in Magnus, the rest of the world and all of their problems fading away, replaced by the soft kisses on his neck, Magnus’ breath on his skin, the tight heat around his dick. A shudder ran down his spine when Magnus’ panting breaths turned to husky moans, his boyfriend's fingers digging into his back and the nape of his neck.

 

The sound of Magnus’ pleasure had Alec’s hips moving faster, his own pleasure just as loud. It was everything he needed, especially when Magnus started clenching around his dick, Magnus’ hips meeting his every thrust. The tightening of Magnus’ legs around him had him grinding into Magnus every time he bottomed out, knowing what it would do to him.

 

“I’m close,” Magnus moaned, the sound desperate and low, even to his own ears. Alec’s dick, scraping at his prostate and his own hand, stroking himself with long, fast strokes was bringing it on fast. He tightened his grip on Alec’s hair, tugging when he felt the tingle of his orgasm in his balls, radiating through him in waves.

 

“Me too, I can’t hold it back much longer,” Alec groaned, his voice low and gravelly from the pleasure he felt in every part of his body. It was too much when Magnus’ leg tightened around his back once more, Magnus’ hips rising and his asshole clenching.

 

Magnus' toes curled when he came, crying his release out as he tugged himself through it. He pressed his face into Alec’s hair when his boyfriends head dropped into his shoulder, Alec’s deep moan vibrating through his skin.

 

Alec’s lungs almost convulsed as he spilt into Magnus, the pleasure of his orgasm stealing the air from them. His hips stuttered in Magnus’ grasp, driving deeper when the grip on his back tightened. Breathing hard into Magnus’ shoulder, he stopped moving when the last of it burst out into Magnus’ clenching asshole.

 

Magnus looked up when Alec pulled up to look at him, seeing the pleasure and the love in Alec’s eyes. Raising his head, he met Alec halfway, his heart thudding faster from the softness of Alec’s kiss.

 

“I love you,” Magnus murmured against Alec’s lips, wrapping his arms around Alec’s neck when Alec lay him back down. “I’m sorry I pushed you away, I just… I needed time, I needed to figure it out. I should have known that you would help me and should have let you, instead of hiding from my problems,” he murmured, searching Alec’s eyes.

 

“You’ve been through so much, I understand,” Alec said, threading his fingers through Magnus’ hair. “I will help you. You just have to let me in,” he said, pressing his lips to Magnus’ once more when Magnus nodded, his face softening. “And I love you too. Whatever else has changed over the last few weeks, that hasn’t,” he said.

 

“I know, I guess I’m still used to dealing with things on my own, not used to sharing the burden,” Magnus said, knowing deep down that he didn’t have to suffer it alone. He had known it the entire time but it was hard to let someone he cared so much for, see him at his weakest. Even if Alec didn’t see him like that, it was how he had seen himself.

 

“Well you don’t have to anymore, don’t push me away when things get hard, remember?” Alec asked, repeating the words Magnus had said to him so many times. The smile that tugged Magnus’ lips up and Magnus nod had him bending his head to capture them.

 

Magnus winced when Alec pulled out of him, pressing his lips to Alec’s harder. He went when Alec rolled over and pulled him to his chest, pushing his face to Alec’s skin. A dark smudge on his arm when he folded it between their bodies caught his attention. The runes Alec had drawn were smudged all over his skin, everywhere, he noted when he pulled back to look at the rest of him. 

 

“Maybe we should get a shower,” Magnus suggested when he saw the smudges all over Alec too. A small chuckle escaped when Alec mumbled “in a minute” and tugged him closer again. It didn’t matter, the runes might be smudged and their removal imminent but the care that had gone into them, and the meaning behind the gesture would still remain. It wasn’t the faded pencil that was his armour, it was Alec.

**Author's Note:**

> That hurt to write but it needed addressing and I'm so proud of it! Sorry if you cried


End file.
